Dear Annie: I am a senior in high school. I have been dating “Brianna” for 10 months. She graduated last year and attended a community college, but really had no ambition or motivation to be there. We spent last summer together, and I honestly fell head over heels in love with her.
Here’s the problem. I have been accepted to many colleges out of town. It has always been my dream to go away to school. I told Brianna it wouldn’t be fair to either of us to stay together while I am away, but I want us to be together as much as possible until then. Ever since I mentioned this to Brianna, however, things haven’t been the same. We’ve been arguing a lot.
Brianna’s dad left when she was 12, and she’s still crushed by it. She doesn’t get along well with her family and tells me I’m all she has. She says when I go away to school, I’ll be leaving her just like everybody else.
Now I feel nothing but guilt when I think about college. I want us to enjoy our time together as much as possible. I want Brianna to be my date for my senior prom, but I don’t want her to think I’m simply using her. It’s not true. She is the only person I want by my side.
Annie, do you think it’s fair that we’re staying together now even though we’re most likely breaking up when I leave for college? I want the full college experience, and I know a long-distance relationship will be miserable, because Brianna and I argue constantly via text messages when we’re only 10 minutes away. Have I made the right decision? — College Bound and Confused
Dear College Bound: Whether or not to stay together until the end of the summer is up to Brianna, too. If she can handle it, wishing you well, it’s a solid idea, and you can plan to see each other over winter break. But if Brianna feels you are abandoning her, she may try to hold you hostage emotionally, pressuring you to alter your plans. That will only create hard feelings and resentment all around. Talk to Brianna and ask what she wants to do, but be firm about your future. Good luck.
Dear Annie: Last June, a co-worker committed suicide. The staff and I were extremely devastated. No one saw it coming. Now, all these months later, two of my best friends at work have decided to get a tribute tattoo in this person’s honor.
These friends were not particularly close to this co-worker, and this is the first death they have personally experienced. I know everyone deals with death in their own way, but they barely knew the co-worker who died. Our entire group of friends thinks this tattoo is a bad idea. We all want to say something, but don’t know what. — Tattoo Troubles
Dear Troubles: We think these two are looking for a way to honor their late co-worker. If you can recommend a better tribute (e.g., working for a suicide prevention hotline, Survivors of Suicide, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, raising funds for suicide awareness), you could suggest it as being more meaningful. But ultimately, how they choose to decorate their bodies is up to them.
Dear Annie: “No Longer Compatible” said she isn’t attracted to her husband because he stopped bathing and has bad breath, a beer belly and sinus issues. Oddly enough, clairvoyance isn’t conferred with the vows. Has she actually told him what she wants from him? He may be relieved that better hygiene can fix the issue.
My second husband wore a size 54 belt. I pretended modesty and wanted the lights out, but really didn’t care to see his body. But he was an excellent lover because his most important organ was his brain. He tried to please and was completely unselfconscious. — Also Been Married to Buddha
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.