Saturday, April 25, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

I still think about another man even though I’m with my husband

By
June 17, 2014 |

Dear Annie: I have been married for four years. In that time, we have split up twice, and it wasn’t pretty either time. We have kids together. I pushed getting married when I became pregnant at 19. Then he claimed to fall out of love with me, stopped coming home after work and began treating me like his maid. So I left and took our child. He followed me and swore he’d do better. The second time we split, we fought so much that things were being thrown, and our throats were sore from screaming at each other. For the (now two) kids’ sake, I said we can’t keep fighting and left again.

Here’s the problem now. While we were separated, I fell deeply in love with a married man. We would talk about our troubled lives and build each other up. Every time I see him, the feeling is like thunder in my heart. But for the sake of our marriages and our children, we went back to our spouses. That was mainly his choice, and although I hung on his every word with disappointment, I agreed.

It’s been a year since my husband and I reconciled, and I stopped speaking to the other man. But I wake up with him on my mind, and he’s in my thoughts 24/7. What’s wrong with me? — Guilty Conscience

Dear Guilty: It’s understandable that you miss the way the other man made you feel, especially because your marriage still seems shaky. However, you have made a commitment to your relationship (and the other man has done the same for his), and you must try to find a way to redirect your emotional energy back to your husband. Problems within a marriage do not magically disappear. Please get counseling, with or without your husband, and work on the issues that undermine your focus. Do it for your children, if not for yourself.

Dear Annie: Who is responsible for the headings on your column? The one I read the other day said, “Son can’t get pass his anxiety issues.” If it is someone on your team of editors, please tell them the correct word is “past.” — C.W.

Dear C.W.: Normally, we would direct editing questions (and spelling mistakes and other such errors) to our editors. However, we receive so many questions about the headings above our column that we would like our readers to know that the headlines, good or bad, are written by someone at your local newspaper. This is not an easy assignment. We think these folks do an outstanding job, and we’d like to take this opportunity to thank them. Of course, that doesn’t mean an occasional mistake doesn’t slip through. If the mistakes happen frequently, you can write or phone your newspaper and mention it.

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Concerned Grandparents,” who complained that their daughter and her husband are poor housekeepers.

I have high standards of cleanliness, but am completely unable to attain them. My mother-in-law is horrified that our home is not pristine. I have five children. Imagine the clutter: shoes, coats, sports equipment, you name it! We also have pets and farm animals. We do not have many closets, and we do our best to have organizational systems. There is certainly no mold or bugs, but life is exhausting, and we are trying to enjoy some of it.

”Concerned” says that her daughter does not invite people into her home. I wonder whether the daughter got tired of being berated and stopped inviting the in-laws. That’s what happened to me. I would recommend that “Concerned” be more understanding of the situation and perhaps take the kids for an outing so that the parents have a chance to organize without mess-makers underfoot. My kids are learning to clean, but it certainly isn’t up to my mother-in-law’s standards. — Busy Mom

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. 

 

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

 
Together to remember children lost to violence

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Transportation leaders point to need for funding changes

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A1, 2 Comments | Gallery

3 letters to Vacaville may cost $100,000 to answer

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A3

 
Church offers free Southern Gospel concert

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

 
Summer Spare the Air season set to start

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A3

‘Cinderella’ carries on despite theater flood

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Suisun City police log: April 23, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A9

Fairfield police log: April 23, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A9

 
Commercial weight loss programs come under scrutiny

By Scott Anderson | From Page: B10

Food often a conduit to something more

By Murray Bass | From Page: B10

 
.

US / World

San Francisco Catholics deeply divided over archbishop

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Colleges starting to offer brewing courses

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Hate crime charges for homeless beating suspect

By The Associated Press | From Page: A3, 1 Comment

 
SFPD to pay for settlement of wrongful termination suit

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

16 students injured when school stage collapses

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Thousands march to mark anniversary of Armenian massacres

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Man ordered to stand trial for kidnap, rape charges

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Nuclear launch officers charged in drug case

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Supreme Court ruling keeps sex offender registration in place

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Rubio looking to gain support in Iowa

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Hep C, HIV cases spike throughout Indiana

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6, 1 Comment

 
Obama uses hospital funds to help push for Medicaid expansion

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Hawaii raises smoking age to 21

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
Police: Gray should have received medical treatment

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Italy police arrest nine terror suspects in sweep

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

 
Yemen rebels ordered to pull back

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

US completing review of hostage policy following drone strikes

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

 
.

Opinion

 
Chaos in the primaries

By Thomas Sowell | From Page: A8, 5 Comments

Joy of baseball back in my life

By Deon Price | From Page: A8, 2 Comments

 
.

Living

Today in History: April 25, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: April 25, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Horoscopes: April 25, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B5

 
Daughters’ ex is determined to turn their children against her

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: B5

.

Entertainment

Seriously silly, Monty Python reunites for a weekend tribute

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

.

Sports

SCC baseball team wins to claim share of BVC title

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B1, 2 Comments

 
Ynoa, Butler send Rockies to 6-4 win over Giants

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Vikings fall to Jaguars 4-3 in 8 innings

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B1

 
After working OT in NBA playoffs, Curry, Rose can earn rest

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Usain Bolt: Gay’s reduced doping ban sends wrong message

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Scott Dixon is chasing IndyCar wins leaders, not spotlight

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Ducking the spotlight, some stars decide to skip NFL draft

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Garber: MLS plan in 6 months to expand beyond 24 teams

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Dortmund, American Pharoah vie for favorite in 141st Derby

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Harden, Howard lead Rockets to 130-128 win, 3-0 lead on Mavs

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Olympic sailing events may be moved from Rio’s polluted bay

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Canadian Henderson shoots tournament record for LPGA lead

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Bowyer and Stewart looking for good runs at Richmond

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Oregon wins distance medley relay at Penn Relays

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Goodell: LA projects viable for bringing back team

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Former Buckeyes teammates Cook, Sindelar top Legends of Golf

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Swafford, Weekley atop Zurich Classic leaderboard

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Logano wins pole at Richmond, his third of the season

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Signups for Saturday, April 25, 2015

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B3

.

Business

Winners and losers of the demise of the big Comcast deal

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
What could McDonald’s do to fix its business?

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6 | Gallery

Durable goods orders up, but business investment falls again

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
Harley recalls nearly 46,000 motorcycles

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

Comcast abandons Time Warner Cable bid after gov’t pushback

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6 | Gallery

 
Cheaper fuel has airlines soaring to record profits

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

Wynn Resorts shareholders: Elaine Wynn won’t return to board

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

 
Ford recalls 390,000 cars to fix door latches

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6

.

Obituaries

Kirk Noonan

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Sandra King

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Elizabeth Cepeda

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

 
.

Comics

Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

 
Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B4

Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
.

Home Seller 4/25/2015

Ask a Designer: decorating with spring pastels

By The Associated Press | From Page: HSR1 | Gallery

Average US rate on 30-year mortgage slips to 3.65 percent

By The Associated Press | From Page: HSR3

Real estate transactions for April 25, 2015

By Daily Republic | From Page: HSR3