Saturday, February 28, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

I love my husband but I feel stuck in an unhealthy relationship

By
From page B5 | February 17, 2014 |

Dear Annie: The past four years of my marriage have been difficult. My husband and I have made many poor financial decisions, and we also have intimacy issues.

I’m an artist. When our kids were young, I chose to do freelance work so I could stay at home. My husband has a steady job with a 9 to 5 workday. On the side, he is a talented musician and gets low-paying gigs a few times a year.

Over time, my husband’s band equipment has become worn, and he has hinted that he’d like to upgrade. While I would like him to be happy, we are not in a financial position to invest in a hobby that offers little return. On the other hand, I am extremely well paid for my artistic craftsmanship and would like to invest in some technical equipment to further my career. If I am paid more, we could then finance my husband’s future musical purchases.

Unfortunately, my husband’s response to not getting what he wants has been immature. He attacks my choices, and I resent the lack of respect for the sacrifices I’ve made to raise our kids. The kids are older now, but it seems that I’m not married to an equal partner, but rather a perpetual teenager.

I love my husband, but I feel stuck in a relationship that is unhealthy in more ways than one. Your thoughts? — Got the Blues

Dear Blues: It is not unusual for couples in their 40s and 50s to reassess their lives, wondering where their youthful dreams went. Like you, your husband may feel stuck, believing he could have had a career as a musician instead of the one that helps provide for his family. Please don’t turn this into a standoff. Have a gentle, loving conversation. Ask for his input. But if money issues are an ongoing problem, it might help to enlist a third party with better financial acumen to referee.

Dear Annie: Why do women announcers who appear on the TV news and weather programs dress so trashy? They wear miniskirts up to their rears, bare arms and shoulders, and low necklines showing everything. The men on these same programs always look professional, with nice suits or sport jackets. I’ve heard people say that a woman’s knees are the ugliest part of the body, and yet they wear short skirts above the knees. Why don’t their bosses stop all of this vulgar dress? — Not a Prude

Dear Not: What makes you think the women are selecting this clothing? More likely, their bosses, the producers of the shows, encourage the women to dress this way because “sex sells.” In all fairness, national news announcers, both male and female, tend to dress more professionally. But if your local news has the men in suits and the women in low-cut blouses and miniskirts, it is sexist, and you should write the station and say so.

Dear Annie: You sometimes receive letters from grandparents who feel sad because they don’t receive thank-you notes or phone calls from their grandchildren.

Following retirement, my husband and I moved 12 hours away from our children and grandchildren. After upgrading our cellphones so we could text and take pictures, we quickly reaped the rewards. The teenage grandchildren always respond within minutes when we text them (keep it brief). They often send thank-you notes via text. And the little ones love FaceTime (on their parents’ phones) and interact with us in real time. We have set up photo album streams that we can all access to share pictures.

We were really amazed at how much this has kept us connected with family, and it is well worth the added cost. It’s a big step for many grandparents to take, but most providers offer free instruction, and once you get into it, it becomes easy and fun. — A Happy and Well-Connected Grandma

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | 2 comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

  • just wonderingFebruary 17, 2014 - 5:38 am

    So if "got the blues" has children that have now come of age and DO NOT require adult supervision, then why can't she get a regular 9 to 5 to support her endeavours? Seems to me like she is a little to cozy being an "artist", while someone else provides for her dreams, food, and shelter at the expense of their own dreams. Selfish.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
  • MadelineFebruary 17, 2014 - 9:45 am

    I was thinking the same thing! Her hubby couldn't practice bc he had to work9-5. It's a no brainer he gets new stuff. She makes bang with her old stuff it's called save up and stop the self centeredness. If there isn't any intimacy it's always because there is anger involved. Maybe this is how she can punish him! Sad how some people just take.

    Reply | Report abusive comment
.

US / World

Man shoots wife, himself at Northern Calif. retirement home

By The Associated Press | From Page: A3

 
 
Thieves crash car through electronics store in San Francisco

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
Some California farmers to go without federal water

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4, 2 Comments | Gallery

US, Liberia start 1st formal test of ZMapp Ebola virus drug

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
US appeals court: Marathon bombing trial can stay in Boston

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Congress OKs 1-week bill to keep Homeland Security open

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 2 Comments | Gallery

US rescinds rule requiring judges to move to Guantanamo

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Woman knocked out by eggs

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

Mexico official: Police capture top capo ‘La Tuta’ Gomez

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10 | Gallery

 
Well-educated ‘Jihadi John’ no surprise to experts

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Unmasking of ‘Jihadi John’ as a London lad shocks Britain

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
.

Opinion

A remedy for veterans’ care

By Bill Frist And Jim Marshall | From Page: A8

 
Editorial Cartoon: Feb. 28, 2015

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

How GOP can resolve immigration mess

By Ramesh Ponnuru | From Page: A8, 10 Comments

 
Unlikely winners of Greece’s surrender on euro

By Mark Gilbert | From Page: A8

.

Living

Community Calendar: Feb. 28, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

 
Today in History: Feb. 28, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Horoscopes: Feb. 28, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A7

 
Poem about heaven helps dog owners when beloved pet dies

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A7, 1 Comment

Coca-Cola bottle as art? Atlanta’s High Museum takes a look

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
.

Entertainment

 
TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B9

.

Sports

 
Vaca advances three wrestlers into semis at Masters

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B1

 
Spurs snap 4-game skid, beat short-handed Kings 107-96

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Thompson scores 25 points, Warriors rout Raptors 113-89

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Casey McGehee’s move to Giants a homecoming of sorts

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Browns agree to terms with quarterback Josh McCown

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Kyle Busch released from hospital following foot surgery

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Bulls expect Derrick Rose back this season from knee surgery

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Testimony: Several Hernandez texts are missing from phone

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Approaching ‘last call’ for NHL GMs to tweak rosters

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

PGA Tour to move Match Play to Texas

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Notre Dame president credited for transforming school dies

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

MLS Commissioner Garber: Hopeful season will start on time

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Travis Kvapil’s NASCAR car stolen from hotel before race

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

McIlroy to miss cut at Honda Classic; Reed leads

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
NHL fines Sharks’ Couture $5,000 for tripping from behind

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
This date in sports history for Saturday, Feb. 28, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

.

Business

Gas prices soar in California as supply shrinks

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
Tribes from around US gather to discuss legal marijuana

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

Uber says database containing driver info was breached

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

 
Signed contracts to buy US homes rise to 18-month high

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

Fiat Chrysler recalls 467K SUVs for possible stalling

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

 
Southwest nearly done inspecting planes that were grounded

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

 
5 reasons US economy is stronger than Q4 GDP suggests

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5 | Gallery

.

Obituaries

Gabriel T. Traub

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

 
Maria Kraszewski

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

.

Comics

B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

 
Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

 
Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

 
.

Home Seller 2/28/2015

Right at Home: Decor made of bicycle parts

By The Associated Press | From Page: HSR2Comments are off for this post | Gallery

Real estate transactions for Feb. 28, 2015

By Daily Republic | From Page: HSR3

Average US rate on 30-year mortgage rises to 3.80 percent

By The Associated Press | From Page: HSR3