Thursday, August 21, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

I can’t forget that my boyfriend went to strip clubs before we met

Dear Annie: I am having a hard time forgetting my boyfriend’s past. Before we met, he subscribed to girlie magazines, went to strip clubs, bought lap dances, etc. I have always felt those things are degrading and disrespectful to women. He also has said he fantasizes about other women.

Whenever I see him staring at a hot girl, it makes me think of his past. I do believe he loves me, but I can’t help it. This is causing problems in our relationship. How do I get beyond this? — Hard Time Forgiving

Dear Hard Time: A lot of men subscribe to girlie magazines and have visited strip clubs. As long as he has stopped doing these things, we wouldn’t worry about that part of his past. Fantasizing is common (women do it, too) and is not a concern unless he acts on it, although he would be wise to stop discussing his fantasies, since you become so upset.

You and your boyfriend could look into couples counseling to see whether that can help you work through this. But if you cannot let go of his past, we hope you will let go of him. You both deserve a relationship where you feel secure and not judged.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Frustrated Employee” and can empathize. It seems no one ever gets punished, fired or held accountable for not doing their jobs.

I, too, am frustrated with the entitled attitude of many co-workers. It’s downright theft when they habitually pad timecards, use sick leave for a personal day, show up late, take long lunch hours, leave early, etc. And if you are brave enough to complain to management, you are told that this matter will be taken under advisement (and never is), or you are accused of not being a “team player” and blamed for your negative attitude toward your co-workers.

You try to just do your job, but it is difficult when you share responsibilities on a project, and the other person doesn’t carry their weight. Why should I suffer ulcers, sleepless nights, short lunches at my desk and long days in order to support someone else’s lack of work ethic?

You suggested that “Frustrated Employee” put out an updated resume, but it’s possible this person has benefits that cannot be replaced, isn’t able to relocate for another position or is close to retirement. Why do the rules only apply to the few?

From experience, I know that some things will never change. But why are we condoning the actions of those who are not productive and condemning those who are? — Another Frustrated Employee Writing on His Own Time

Dear Another: The reason for your ulcers and frustration is that you think there is some way to transform the useless co-workers or hold management accountable. But there isn’t. If management chooses to ignore incompetent employees, the business suffers, but your choice is simply to stay or go.

If you choose to stay, for whatever reason, it helps to tune out what you cannot fix. Do your job, document your efforts, put a smile on your face and ignore the rest. Conscientious, capable employees like you feel responsible for the success of the company and want their efforts appreciated. But if the company doesn’t care, please let yourself off the hook.

Dear Annie: This is in regard to “Proud Mom,” who didn’t like it when people attempted to touch her baby. There are quite a few places where she can find signs that attach to car seats and strollers saying, “Please Don’t Touch the Baby.” I found plenty offered online, and she could even make her own. Of course, it won’t stop everyone, but it might help a little. — Completely Understand

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

 

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

First day back to school brings laughter, jitters

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Potrero Hills Landfill legal appeals exhausted

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A1

Railroad crossing stalemate continues

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A1

 
Breakfast after the Bell wins support

By Mayrene Bates | From Page: A2

Fairfield candidates hear about lean, nimble city staff

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
 
Suisun city employees get pay raise

By Ian Thompson | From Page: A3

Girls on the Run seeks volunteer life coaches

By Ian Thompson | From Page: A4

 
College finalizes police department takeover, OKs bond plan

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A4

 
Free e-waste collection to benefit Scarlet Brigade

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

Fairfield mayor to appear at GOP dinner

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

 
Fairfield police log: Aug. 19, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A10

Suisun City police log: Aug. 19, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A10

 
Weather for Aug. 21, 2014

By Daily Republic | From Page: B10

.

US / World

Governor criticizes new-hire pension enhancements

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
US mission to rescue hostages in Syria failed

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

US official: More airstrikes in Iraq

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Beheading spurs new attacks on Islamic militants

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

Militants use British killer as propaganda

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
School sorry for making special ed kids sort trash

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

Police seek mystery pair in selfies after burglary

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
Teens deny threatening boy in school shooting plot

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Panel OKs state librarian despite initial concerns

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Navy kicks out 34 for nuke cheating

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

CHP says officer may face serious beating charges

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
8 homes destroyed, 1,500 threatened by wildfire

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Drought has state debating its unregulated pumping

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Holder says he understands mistrust of police

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Liberian slums barricaded as Ebola sets new record

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
North Korea insults John Kerry over his looks

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Ukrainian govt troops take over much of Luhansk

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Picture emerges of officer in Ferguson shooting

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

.

Opinion

 
Tell the story, don’t be it

By Ruben Navarrette | From Page: A7

Everyone can benefit from ‘the talk’

By Kelvin Wade | From Page: A7

 
We’re spending way too much on raising our kids

By Megan Mcardle | From Page: A7

Editorial Cartoons: Aug. 21, 2014

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

 
California needs pedestrian-friendly neighborhoods

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A7

.

Living

Today in History: Aug. 21, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: Aug. 21, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Horoscopes: Aug. 21, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A9

 
Why do parents drink alcohol after their children’s games?

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A9

.

Entertainment

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A5

 
And the Emmy winners are…? We’re happy to guess!

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6 | Gallery

Aniston, Hamm, Hudson set to Stand Up to Cancer

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
Emmys: Billy Crystal to pay tribute to Williams

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6 | Gallery

.

Sports

Peavy pitches Giants to 8-3 win over Cubs

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
WR Stevie Johnson adds depth to 49ers

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Fairfield boxer Avila set to put perfect 15-0 record on the line

By Brian Arnold | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Giants win protest, rain-shortened game to resume Thursday

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

A’s stumble and must regroup with Angels coming

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Raiders FB Reece’s injury not as bad as feared

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Las Vegas spoils Mo’ne’s night, beats Philly 8-1

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
Sharks F Torres undergoes surgery on right knee

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

US routs Dominicans in exhibition as Rose rests

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Schilling blames chewing tobacco for mouth cancer

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Reality check for Phelps at Pan Pacific Champs

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Kent State starting center dies at 21

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Serena Williams seeded No. 1 at US Open; Halep 2nd

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Tony Stewart skipping 3rd straight race after Ward’s death

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

This date in sports history for Thursday, Aug. 21, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

 
Sports on TV for Thursday, Aug. 21, 2014

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B4

.

Business

Brine firm sues over biblical fracking billboard

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

 
Apple’s stock bounces back to hit a new high

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

BofA reaches $17B settlement with US

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

 
.

Obituaries

George ‘Wayne’ Hause

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Sharon Ilene Boyd

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

David G. Gibson

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Charles (Chuck) H. Doty

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

 
Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9

Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A9