Sunday, September 21, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

I can’t afford the medication to treat my depression, I need help

Dear Annie: I was diagnosed with depression more than 20 years ago. When I was in high school, I was hospitalized for close to a year. Because money and insurance have been sporadic, I have been on and off of medication. Plus, once I get on a good medication, I start feeling that I don’t need it anymore. Last year, my husband lost his job, so I have no insurance and have been off of medication since.

Annie, my depression feels like it is crushing me. I am tired all the time and not interested in doing anything. I interpret everything my husband says as insulting or angry, although I know it isn’t. Part of the problem is, we haven’t had sex in three years. He says he just doesn’t want to. So I feel pretty worthless.

I fantasize about dying. I feel this dark cloud hanging over me. I try to put on a happy face, but it doesn’t help much. My husband knows about my depression, but there isn’t much we can do without money. Please help me. — Tired of It

Dear Tired: There are resources for you. First contact the National Alliance on Mental Illness (nami.org) at 800-950-NAMI. You also can find a listing of free or low-cost health centers in your area through the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (hhs.gov) and the Partnership for Prescription Assistance (pparx.org), which also can help with medication. And don’t overlook your local community centers and nearby medical schools for low-cost counseling services. Just writing us shows your commitment to getting well. Hang in there.

Dear Annie: My husband and I have a friend who was given an award a few years ago. Many of us attended the event, and friends from afar sent congratulations and accolades. Since then, however, “Ralph” brings up the award at every occasion, showering everyone with photos and bragging to the skies.

This is getting rather tiring to the rest of us. Some people have made a few comments to him, saying it’s time to “let it go,” but it doesn’t help. Ralph thinks he’s truly hot stuff now, and it’s become unbearable to be around him. We all enjoy the company of his wife, who unfortunately doesn’t try to curtail his boasting, but we certainly don’t wish to be around Ralph anymore.

Is there any polite statement we could make to get him to stop the ego talk? — Had It

Dear Had It: Poor Ralph. This is obviously the only thing he has to brag about, and he’s not going to stop as long as he thinks he can still get mileage out of it. Try to be tolerant. When he mentions his award, plaster a fake smile onto your face, pat his arm and say, “Yes, Ralph, we know,” and then change the subject or walk away.

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Some Talk, Please,” who reports that her husband is otherwise a good guy, but rarely talks to her and sulks for sex. She also said that one of her children has been diagnosed with Asperger syndrome. I would like to remind her that the apple does not fall far from the tree.

If they have a child with Asperger’s, it is possible that her husband may have the same diagnosis. This was the case with my son and my husband. I strongly suspected my husband had some form of autism. He was gracious enough to see a psychiatrist, who diagnosed him with Asperger syndrome and schizoid disorder. My husband truly is clueless about intimacy.

There are resources available on the Internet for spouses of people with Asperger’s and also for those who want to learn how to be intimate. I let my hubby know I am grateful for all he does. I also let him know that when my emotional needs are met, then I will engage in sex. — Been There, Done That

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

County makes recommendations for crude-by-rail

By Barry Eberling | From Page: A1, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
Hartley House offers look into Vacaville’s past

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: C1 | Gallery

New toilet paper sizes will wipe me out!

By Brad Stanhope | From Page: A2, 4 Comments

 
Coastal Cleanup helps get rid of trash in area

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3, 1 Comment | Gallery

Travis teachers bring creativity to Shakespeare

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A3

 
Olympians to participate in swim Lap-a-Thon

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3

Circle of Friends director to speak in Fairfield

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3

 
Be alert to stroke warning signs

By Marilyn Ranson | From Page: C4

Recovery community works for lifelong sobriety

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A4 | Gallery

 
Musical merry-go-round at Jazz Festival

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Deadline looms for lobster boil tickets

By Glen Faison | From Page: A5

 
Crashes blocks parts of eastbound I-80 in Fairfield

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A5

 
Seven Artisans opens tasting room

By Barry Eberling | From Page: B7 | Gallery

BABA makes big spash

By Bud Stevenson | From Page: B7

 
Old Kmart site sees signs of new life

By Brian Miller and Karl Dumas | From Page: B8, 2 Comments | Gallery

Veterans with PTSD could see discharge upgrades

By Tom Philpott | From Page: B10

 
Airmen with local ties finish basic training

By Nick DeCicco | From Page: B10

Fairfield police log: Sept. 19, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

 
Suisun City police log: Sept. 19, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A12

.

US / World

Potential push for Obama to expand military effort

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1, 1 Comment

 
Teams assess damage as California wildfire burns

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

McInerney, Duka help Impact beat Earthquakes

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Old pets, new chances: The case for senior adoption

By Mcclatchy-Tribune News Service | From Page: C4

Jailed, some mentally ill inmates land in lockdown

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
Custer youngest winner at 16 in NASCAR series

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6 | Gallery

Retro-hip barber is growing an ‘empire’ by staying on the cutting edge

By Mcclatchy-Tribune News Service | From Page: C6

 
Tense hunt in trooper ambush case hits 8 days

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Tour ship runs aground by NYC’s Statue of Liberty

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Astronauts getting 3-D printer at space station

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10 | Gallery

Chrysler recalling nearly 189,000 SUVs

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10, 1 Comment

 
Fire captain injured in ice bucket challenge dies

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10, 1 Comment

More than 1K people search for missing UVa student

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Second man arrested trying to enter White House

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Pope chooses a moderate for Chicago archbishop

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
Turkish hostages freed, but questions linger

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

Sierra Leone staggers in Ebola isolation effort

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11 | Gallery

 
El-Sissi ready to back anti-IS fight

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11 | Gallery

NATO chief: Ukraine has cease-fire ‘in name only’

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
Kurdish fighters head to Syria to face militants

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

Polly Bergen, versatile actress, singer dies at 84

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

 
.

Opinion

Stores miss bus on public transit

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8, 4 Comments

 
Sunset Animal Hospital is the best

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8

Sound off for Sept. 21, 2014

By Daily Republic | From Page: A8

 
New car’s fuel mileage accuracy put to the test

By Glen Faison | From Page: A8

 
 
Will they ever get the message?

By Rod Keck | From Page: A9, 5 Comments

 
.

Living

Community Calendar: Sept. 21, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

 
Today in History: Sept. 21, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

There is no message of hatred of violence in Christianity

By The Rev. Rick L. Stonestreet | From Page: C3, 7 Comments

 
St. Paul pastor’s pulpit? A food truck

By The Associated Press | From Page: C3 | Gallery

Horoscopes: Sept. 21, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: C4

 
My child’s father and I worked things out – but now I’m not so sure

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: C4

.

Entertainment

Springsteen picture book out in November

By The Associated Press | From Page: C2

 
Erdrich wins lifetime achievement literary prize

By The Associated Press | From Page: C2

Designer Donna Karan memoir expected next year

By The Associated Press | From Page: C2

 
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY BEST-SELLERS

By The Associated Press | From Page: C2

Author says Christian novel plagiarized, sex added

By The Associated Press | From Page: C2 | Gallery

 
TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B11

.

Sports

Patriots big favorites vs. Raiders despite mediocre start

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Williams beats A’s for third time with third team

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Cardinals look to shake off distraction vs. 49ers

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Cashner, Padres beat Giants 3-2

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Prep boys soccer preview: Indians, Vikings off to fast start

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Schumacher, Hagan win rain-delayed Carolina event

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

College football Top 25

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
No. 1 Florida St survives against No. 22 Clemson

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

Sprint car driver killed in Wisconsin

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Vacaville Christian volleyball team falls in playoffs

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B3

Mi Jung Hur, Paula Reto share lead in Alabama

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4 | Gallery

 
Stars Recreation results

By Daily Republic | From Page: B4

Estimated 7,000 fans trade in Ray Rice jerseys

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4 | Gallery

 
Travis Bowl results

By Daily Republic | From Page: B4

This date in sports history for Sunday, Sept. 21, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

 
Sports on TV for Sunday, Sept. 21, 2014

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B5

Harvick dismisses wins as key to Cup title

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6 | Gallery

 
Gaughan snatches Nationwide win at Kentucky

By The Associated Press | From Page: B6 | Gallery

.

Business

Extended warranties a big sell. Are they worth it?

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
Recalls this week: fire alarm bases, swings

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

US tobacco growers brace for tougher competition

By The Associated Press | From Page: B12 | Gallery

 
Marijuana industry battling stoner stereotypes

By The Associated Press | From Page: B12 | Gallery

.

Obituaries

George Junior Rhode

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics