State, national lifestyle columnists

Celebrate the holidays – it will add energy to your relationship

By From page A2 | December 15, 2012

Most couples enjoy the winter holidays, but do we really celebrate them? Getting into the habit of celebrating will add energy to your relationship and provide you with a deeper sensation of what your love is all about.

When the love you feel makes you want to dance like nobody’s watching, you have cause to celebrate and the holidays make that feeling just a little more special. This feeling is rare and having it in your heart is quite an amazing gift. It makes you want to wrap your arms around your love instead of wrapping presents. Yes, this is love and it should be celebrated as much as any holiday.

The more you are able to acknowledge the good things in your life, the stronger they become, which leads to greater happiness in your relationship and beyond. Making a ritual out of celebrating the holidays can also help you deal with life when things get difficult. Your current difficulties become easier when you have a memory bank filled with good things that have happened. Those happy celebrations are now cemented in your mind and heart.

Having a celebratory attitude means that you look for the positive, and when you find it, you say something positive about it to your partner so that you can smile together. It’s that simple and it will change the way you think and feel.

Creating a holiday celebration can seem like a daunting task for some. But the beauty of celebration is that you can do it however you like. Celebrating the holidays can take many forms. From a candlelit dinner to attending a religious service to Santa coming through the chimney, the ways you can celebrate are endless. The important thing here is that the holidays should be celebrated in a way that honors both the holiday and your relationships.

Throwing a party is one way to celebrate. Simply telling your partner how much you love him or her is another. Remember that small things can go a long way. How would it make you feel to get a small gift that celebrated your love in a big way? A friend once joked that small and cheap is good, but small and expensive is even better.

As adults, of course, we all know that it can’t be about the gifts. After all, gift-giving can sometimes be tricky. Suppose you get something you don’t really like. If that experience triggers something in you, however, please take a look at your reaction and keep yourself in check. This is something most of us have dealt with. The best thing to do is to say, “Thank you for thinking of me,” and leave it at that. Avoid harboring resentments, for such feelings will taint your experience.

Keeping this attitude at the top of your mind creates a pattern for the rest of your relationship. Holiday celebrations are a great way to feel the love in your life, and celebrations are a great way to increase the level of satisfaction with your relationship.

Happy holidays.

Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a psychotherapist in Westlake, is the author, most recently, of “100 Ways to Boost Your Self-Confidence – Believe in Yourself and Others Will Too.” Email him at [email protected] Follow his daily insights at www.twitter.com/BartonGoldsmith.

Barton Goldsmith


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