Sunday, December 21, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

At 76, I’m having a hard time finding a woman who will hug me

Dear Annie: I am a 76-year-old man. After 46 years of a happy marriage, my precious wife passed away four years ago.

I live in the country and have become acquainted with several single women around my age who are widows or divorcees and live within a 20-mile radius. I have taken a few of them out to dinner or to a play. They go with me once or twice and won’t go again. They tell me they are too busy with their grandchildren. One said, “We are too different.” Another said she is not in the dating mood. All have told me that I am a real nice guy, and it’s not because of anything I did or said.

I’ve never made inappropriate advances toward these women. I’ve only asked for a little hug because I miss holding my wife. But it seems they do not want to be touched, and two of them told me that I am expecting too much. I have never indicated that I wanted more than a hug, although I have to admit, in my own mind, I have hoped that after going out a few times, we could go a little farther than that. I’m not looking for a serious relationship. I am just extremely lonesome and would like to have a companion to go places with and be together occasionally.

I’ve never really understood women, so I’m at a loss here. I don’t own a computer, so I cannot try meeting women online. Do you have any suggestions? Please tell me what I’m doing wrong. — Lonesome Okie

Dear Lonesome: We don’t know what you are doing wrong. If you are giving these women the impression that you want physical affection, but not a serious relationship, they may not be interested. Asking for hugs on a first date may be too forward, or it may frighten them. We know you are lonely, but please slow down. You might be coming across as too needy, which is not attractive. Get to know these women as friends first, and see where it leads. And if you are interested in online dating, your local library can provide a computer.

Dear Annie: My brother’s daughter is getting married this summer. She’s having a huge wedding. All of the nieces, nephews and cousins are invited except our three daughters. My brother said they have to cut somewhere.

Should I just shrug this off? I told my mother that I’m so upset, I’m thinking of never seeing or speaking to my brother again. Is this a feeling I should be having? Should I ask my brother what we did to them that they would exclude us in this way? — Not a Happy Sister

Dear Sister: Generally, it is wise to “cut” along the same family lines, so that, for example, you invite all first cousins or none of them. However, sometimes the bride or groom has a close relationship with some cousins and not others. In such cases, if the guest list is limited, it makes sense to invite those with whom you are closest. Is it possible that your children are especially distant from the bride? Have they had a falling out of which you are unaware? Unless there is a reason, we find this exclusion unnecessarily hurtful. We hope you can work through it.

Dear Annie: “Disgusted in N.Y.” said her 85-year-old aunt never had a bath in the six weeks she spent in the hospital. There is evidence not to bathe hospital patients using plastic tubs due to increased infection rates when tubs are not disinfected sufficiently between uses.

As a result, many hospitals have adopted the use of prepackaged disposable bath wipes. Often these are warmed and feel good to the patient, and it cleans them. Perhaps the hospital needs to investigate using these wipes. — Pennsylvania Nurse

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

 

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | 3 comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

The Salvation Army serves 1,000-plus across 2 days

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A1, 7 Comments | Gallery

 
Blue Christmas service offers reflection, hope

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A1

Shining bright for all to see: Locals deck out yards, homes

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: C1, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
Time for annual Solano County quiz

By Brad Stanhope | From Page: A2

Bevy of holiday activities at Western Railway Museum

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
State Fair scholarship applications available

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3

 
Get tested, know your status

By Morgan Westfall | From Page: C4

 
Free New Year’s celebration slated

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A5

 
 
New development fees start Jan. 1 in Vacaville

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A5

New technology chief will join McNaughton Newspapers

By Tanya Perez | From Page: B7 | Gallery

 
A word of warning for Senator Warren

By Bud Stevenson | From Page: B7, 9 Comments

 
Fairfield police log: Dec. 19, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A9

Suisun City police log: Dec. 19, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A9

 
Sky-high price has VA rationing hep C drug

By Tom Philpott | From Page: B10

.

US / World

 
Air Force admits nuke flaws, but will fixes work?

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
Officials: Missing dog was dyed to deceive

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Immigrants build document trails to remain in US

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
California officer kills teen after machete attack

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5, 2 Comments

 
4 teens die in fiery head-on crash in Pennsylvania

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
2 dozen injured in southern Indiana bus crash

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Texas ranchers seeking alternative incomes

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7, 1 Comment

 
North Korea proposes joint probe over Sony hacking

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

2 car bombs rock southern Sweden’s city of Malmo

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Bombings kill 12 in Iraq

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10, 1 Comment

US sends 4 Afghans back home from Guantanamo

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Panama’s Noriega in prison 25 years post-invasion

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Burying the dead after Pakistan’s school massacre

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
A chance to breach divide for young in Cuba and US

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

.

Opinion

Editorial Cartoon: Dec. 21, 2014

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8, 1 Comment

 
New school finance strategy lacks accountability

By Dan Walters | From Page: A8

Season’s greetings from the Obamas

By Alexandra Petri | From Page: A8, 1 Comment

 
Sound off for Dec. 21, 2014

By Daily Republic | From Page: A8

 
.

Living

Today in History: Dec. 21, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2, 4 Comments

 
Vatican offers olive branch to US nuns

By The Associated Press | From Page: C3, 1 Comment

Why celebrate Christmas?

By Noel Reese | From Page: C3, 2 Comments

 
Horoscopes: Dec. 21, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: C4

Should I ask grandson why we weren’t included in wedding photos?

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: C4

 
.

Entertainment

Publisher hopes to sell books through Twitter

By The Associated Press | From Page: C6

 
Chris Colfer has multi-book deal

By The Associated Press | From Page: C6

Jerry Lee Lewis: Sustained by brief blaze of glory

By The Associated Press | From Page: C6

 
Review: ‘Five’ by Ursula Archer is intriguing

By The Associated Press | From Page: C6

PUBLISHERS WEEKLY BEST-SELLERS

By The Associated Press | From Page: C6

 
TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B11

.

Sports

Interim coaching jobs present challenges in bowls

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
49ers squander 21-point lead in 4th straight loss

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

New Giants 3B McGehee eager to play back home

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
No. 11 Lady Vols trounce No. 7 Stanford 59-40

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

Eagles near elimination, fall 27-24 to Redskins

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Raiders place cornerback Brown on injured reserve

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

Big moves bring big hope for Chicago baseball

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

 
US skier Nyman wins Gardena downhill for 3rd time

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

Vonn wins women’s World Cup downhill in France

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

 
This date in sports history for Sunday, Dec. 21, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: B5

 
.

Business

Your info has been hacked. Now what do you do?

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
On the money: 4 ways to hold on to your cash when renting a car

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
Recalls this week: Bean bag chairs, toy monkeys

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Scarecrows outnumber people in dying Japan town

By The Associated Press | From Page: B12

.

Obituaries

Dominic C. Scolaro

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Barbara Jean Bidstrup Braker

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Perry Michael Smetts

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Luzdivina B. Banks

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

Arnold Howard Evans

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

 
Anthony Hanson Elder

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

Marian Kay Zutz

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Bart Ferro

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

.

Comics