Saturday, October 25, 2014
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

Am I holding a grudge if I haven’t called my mom in 3 years?

Dear Annie: My relationship with my mother has always been challenging. When she could no longer grab me by the hair and shake my head, she adopted inappropriate behavior with my boyfriends, called me stupid, worshipped my brothers and sister-in-law over me, and much more.

The final straw came in a telephone conversation. My mother said she was tired from being out the other day with a friend. She asked, “Do all old people get tired when they go out?” I didn’t want to compare her with my father, who works hard and had visited me earlier that week. I replied, “All old people age differently.” My mother then commenced some heavy and deliberate sighing that lasted the remainder of the call while I tried to make conversation. I politely said goodbye.

When it was time for me to make my annual call to her, I picked up the phone and started to dial but hung up before reaching the last number. I have not called my mother since. That was three years ago. My mother is now 83. I do not believe I am holding a grudge, although that has been suggested to me. I am just so hurt and ashamed that my own mother would reject me the way she has. When is it OK to say enough? — Don’t Miss Her

Dear Don’t: The final straw was a phone call where Mom mostly sighed? And after three years, you are still angry. We recognize that Mom mistreated you when you were younger, but you spoke to her only once a year. It’s not a grudge so much as an inability to deal with Mom’s behavior, and it remains unresolved, which mostly hurts you. Ask yourself how you would feel if Mom died without any further contact. If that bothers you even slightly, please talk to a professional and find a way to work through this, whatever the outcome.

Dear Annie: My wife and I have been married for 15 years. It seems that if I don’t initiate sex, we never have any. I have told her what I would like, but she shows no interest. She just lies there and neither moves nor makes a sound. I don’t know whether I am giving her any pleasure.

I have discussed my concerns with her and have asked what she would like in the bedroom, but she always says, “Everything is fine. I like what we do.”

I am frustrated. I really love my wife and don’t want to end the relationship, but I have been having thoughts about finding another lover who will fulfill my needs in the bedroom. Please help. — Not Sure What To Do

Dear Not Sure: Your wife may feel inhibited about sex, which is why she is silent in the bedroom and won’t discuss her preferences. It’s also possible that she doesn’t enjoy sex, for physical or emotional reasons, and has no interest in working at it. Instead of talking about likes and dislikes, tell her that her stoic reaction to sex saddens you and that it is threatening the stability of your marriage. Ask her to go with you to see a marriage counselor or a professional sex therapist.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Working Hard,” who futilely complained to her boss and human resources about a fellow employee who isn’t doing his share of the work.

Everywhere I have ever worked, there are people who do more than asked and people who do so little it’s maddening. I have come to the realization that complaining about lazy co-workers is a waste of time. Management would rather put up with a poor employee than admit they made a mistake in hiring or promoting that person in the first place. — W.C.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

 
 
Fall Harvest Festival brings children back to school

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
No new murder trial for Calkins, judge rules

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A3

Optimist Club brings youth together for Halloween golf

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: A3

 
Cut-a-thon to help fight cancer, abuse

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

 
School board candidates forum set next week

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A4

Haunted hikes offered for brave souls at park

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

 
Staying active may prolong your life

By Scott Anderson | From Page: B8

 
Suisun City police log: Oct. 23, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A9

.

US / World

Suspect arrested in death of 2 California deputies

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
KC-10 from Travis lands in Houston, smoke in cockpit

By The Associated Press | From Page: A3

Reagan astrologer, Joan Quigley, dies at 87

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
Jury says castrated sex offender should be freed

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

Remains belong to missing Virginia student

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Dallas nurse receives thanks, hug from Obama

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

School gunman was Homecoming prince, students say

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Lava creeps toward road on Hawaii’s Big Island

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

NY, NJ order Ebola quarantine for doctors, others

By The Associated Press | From Page: A9

 
Gunman in Canada attack complained about mosque

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Egypt declares emergency in northern Sinai

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Militant group said to be using chlorine bombs

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Putin accuses US of undermining global stability

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
.

Opinion

Vote, and make a difference

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8

 
Yes on Measure A

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8

Spering best choice for county supervisor

By Daily Republic | From Page: A8

 
Return Garamendi to Congress

By Daily Republic | From Page: A8

Editorial Cartoons: Oct. 25, 2014

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
SEIU shouldn’t own Board of Supervisors

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8, 1 Comment

.

Living

Today in History: Oct. 25, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: Oct. 25, 2014

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

Horoscopes: Oct. 25, 2014

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: A7

 
My mother-in-law wants me to convert to Catholicism, but I don’t want to

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: A7

Hello Kitty turning 40, and the birthday bash will be ‘supercute’

By Mcclatchy-Tribune News Service | From Page: B8

 
.

Entertainment

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B9

 
TLC cancels its ‘Honey Boo Boo’ series

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

P.D. James’ riff on Jane Austen comes to TV

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

 
.

Sports

Hamilton helps Vanden sink Vallejo, 35-0

By Nick DeCicco | From Page: B1

 
Vintage rolls past Armijo, 55-8

By Mike Corpos | From Page: B1

Mustangs fall flat in rout by Wildcats

By Marcus Lomtong | From Page: B1

 
Royals beat Giants 3-2 for 2-1 World Series lead

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Vargas to take on Vogelsong in Game 4 of Series

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Falcons hang with Wolves in 34-8 setback

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Judge halts New Jersey’s sports betting plan

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Joe Maddon exercises opt-out, won’t return to Rays

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Jamie McMurray bests Chase drivers to win pole

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2 | Gallery

 
Attorney: NFL, Ravens not helping union in Rice probe

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

SCC women’s soccer team falls to Mendocino 3-1

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B2

 
Unfazed, 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh doing it his way

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Lloyd leads US women past Mexico 3-0

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Raiders’ Woodley, Young expected to be placed on IR

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Henley’s putting gets him lead at Sea Island

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
This date in sports history for Saturday, Oct. 25, 2014

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
.

Business

Procter & Gamble taking out its batteries

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

 
UPS expects double-digit surge in Dec shipments

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

US new-home sales close to flat in September

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

 
US official: Auto safety agency under review

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

Ford profit falls in third quarter on truck costs

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

 
.

Obituaries

Mark Dean Lindsay

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

 
Dr. Robert M. Takamoto

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Melvin Tate

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Peanuts

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

 
Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A6

Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

 
Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

 
Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A7

 
.

Home Seller 10/25/14

Real estate transactions for Oct. 25, 2014

By Daily Republic | From Page: HSR2