Sunday, March 1, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

WORST MOVIES OF 2013

By
From page B2 | December 27, 2013 |

Richard Roeper

From bad to awful to the absolute worst movie of the year, here we go!

10. “A Good Day to Die Hard.” A quarter-century after the first “Die Hard” became an instant action movie classic, we get this preposterous cartoon with John McClane trying to bond with his resentful son, who broods that dad was never around. In 2007’s “Live Free or Die Hard,” McClane was dealing with an estranged daughter who resented him for never being around.

Hey. Kids. He was saving the world more often than Iron Man while you were growing up. Give him a break.

9. “Grown-Ups 2.” How can so many funny people make such a relentlessly unfunny movie? “Grown-Ups 2″ features a deer urinating on a man; a deer urinating on a boy; grown men sneezing, burping and farting; numerous incidents of projectile vomiting, and multiple assaults on multiple male crotches.

Adam Sandler, why do you hate us?

8. “Girl Most Likely.” I love Kristen Wiig, but she’s buried in a forgettable movie with a forgettable title and forgettable characters I’d really like to forget. We really didn’t need another film about a neurotic woman who falls into a near-catatonic state because her idiot boyfriend dumps her. Making matters worse, Wiig’s character is an obnoxious little girl in flashbacks and kind of unsympathetic as a grown-up, as well.

7. “Now You See Me.” A slick, empty con job from start to finish. Now You See Me, and Now You Wish You Hadn’t.

6. “Safe Haven.” Another one of those Nicholas Sparks movies with a star-crossed, sun-dappled couple embracing on the beach while possible DEATH AND DOOM lurk around the corner. And the big twist at the end leaves us with the conclusion Julianne Hough’s character is nuts. Not adorably wacky — certifiably insane.

5. “G.I. Joe: Retaliation.” To say this is a video game of a movie is an insult to the countless video games that have better special effects, more realistic action and superior plot elements. This is one big dopey mess, with some of the worst dialogue of the year.

4. “Evil Dead.” Just when I thought torture porn was dead, we get this sadistic, creepy gore-fest that celebrates the brutal, bloody deaths of some of the dumbest people ever to appear in a horror film. Were we supposed to laugh at the cringe-inducing, irredeemable violence? Look away in horror? Leave the theater to warn our friends never to see “Evil Dead”?

I voted for option three.

3. “The Lone Ranger.” The great Johnny Depp gives maybe the first truly awful performance of his career. How did anyone, including Depp, think it was a good idea for him to play Tonto as a doddering old fool and, in flashbacks, a doddering young fool? For that matter, why did anyone believe there would be mass interest in a giant-budget movie about a character long forgotten by most of today’s moviegoers?

2. “Movie 43.” One of the most painful moviegoing experiences of my life. An amazingly talented cast stars in a series of loosely connected scenes that range from what-the-hell to kill-me-now. In the worst segment of all, Halle Berry makes guacamole by mashing avocados with her giant fake boobs, and then she inserts a turkey baster filled with extra-hot sauce into her — well. As I said when it was released, “Movie 43″ is the Citizen Kane of awful.

1. “White House Down.” At least “Movie 43″ kinda knows it’s awful. The worst movie of the year is “White House Down,” which is even more offensive because of its pandering, condescending, mercilessly cynical attitude. Director Roland Emmerich places a child character in constant jeopardy, rips off far better movies and assaults our intelligence with jingoistic manipulation and unbelievably cheesy one-liners. The ending is so shamelessly hokey I actually groaned out loud, and I haven’t done that at the movies since some hulking lug stepped on my foot while toting his R2D2-sized bucket of popcorn back to his seat.

Scripps Howard News Service

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

Peace and patience: Quilters gear up for show

By Amy Maginnis-Honey | From Page: C1 | Gallery

 
School bands compete in Pageantry on Parade

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A1, 2 Comments | Gallery

 
Calling someone a ‘smoker’ is hilarious

By Brad Stanhope | From Page: A2

Conservancy plans next Quail Ridge Reserve walk

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3

 
Police seek suspect in armed robbery

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A3, 3 Comments

 
4-H Presentation Day brings fun, education to Fairfield

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
The agony of the codling moth, ecstasy of worm-free apples

By Christine Macgenn | From Page: C4

 
What you eat can affect your medications

By Marilyn Ranson | From Page: C4

Tri-City NAACP honors community members at gala event

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
CAASC 18th Annual Chinese New Year and Scholarship Celebration

By Steve Reczkowski | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Rollover in Suisun City

By Aaron Rosenblatt | From Page: A5, 1 Comment | Gallery

State schedules ramp closure at freeway project site

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A5

 
Appointments on tap for Board of Supervisors meet

By Kevin W. Green | From Page: A5

 
NY, SF town house prices through the roof

By Bud Stevenson | From Page: B7

 
Fairfield police log: Feb. 27, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A9

 
Suisun City police log: Feb. 27, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A9

Airmen with local ties finish basic training

By Nick DeCicco | From Page: B10

 
Force draws many from South, middle class

By Tom Philpott | From Page: B10

.

US / World

Christie to Calif. Republicans: No rush to pick 2016 nominee

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1

 
US missionary abducted in Nigeria is courageous, friends say

By The Associated Press | From Page: C3

Dress that ‘greatly resembles’ stolen Nyong’o gown found

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Weekend storm drops snow, rain, hail in California

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Churches, synagogues, mosques bear tough New England winter

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
Hyundai recalls 263,000 cars due to power-steering problem

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
Blind dog rescued after being lost for 2 weeks in the cold

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Details about proposed national monuments in California

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
National monument supporters in California get antsy

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10, 1 Comment

US drone strike in Yemen kills 3 suspected al-Qaida fighters

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
Greece will not seek another bailout, prime minister says

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

Attacks kill 37 people in and north of Iraq’s capital

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

 
Nemtsov a possible ‘sacrificial victim,’ investigators say

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

.

Opinion

Sound off for March 1, 2015

By Daily Republic | From Page: A8

 
New school funding plan remains on bumpy path

By Dan Walters | From Page: A8

 
Even Gruber deserves a break sometimes

By Megan Mcardle | From Page: A8, 2 Comments

I might just vote for a Democrat next time around

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8, 8 Comments

 
Aging Fairfield housing agency faltering

By Letter to the Editor | From Page: A8

Editorial Cartoon: March 1, 2015

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: A8

 
.

Living

Today in History: March 1, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Community Calendar: March 1, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

With numbers falling, Houston-area nuns’ future uncertain

By The Associated Press | From Page: C3

 
Horoscopes: March 1, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: C4

Kidney Walk participation helped give me a positive outlook on life

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: C4

 
.

Entertainment

Take a look – Dr. Seuss has a new book

By The Associated Press | From Page: C2

 
Publisher launches line of Warhol e-books

By The Associated Press | From Page: C2

Q&A: Opera star Deborah Voigt writes of turbulent life

By The Associated Press | From Page: C2Comments are off for this post

 
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY BEST-SELLERS

By The Associated Press | From Page: C2

Review: ‘The Girl on the Train’ has realistic plot

By The Associated Press | From Page: C2Comments are off for this post

 
TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B11

.

Sports

A year after meeting Tiger, Indian golfer on the rise

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Jeff Gordon takes a final spin at track that meant so much

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Vikings girls looking for first section title

By Paul Farmer | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Local Report: Vaca’s Aquino wins Masters wrestling title

By Daily Republic staff | From Page: B1

Phegley hopes his style will catch on in Oakland

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Environmental activists disrupt meeting by Olympic officials

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Hamilton hones Mercedes with fastest time at F1 testing

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Thunder’s Russell Westbrook has surgery on cheekbone

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Anthony Mason, rugged forward of 1990s Knicks, dies at 48

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Warriors center Festus Ezeli suspended for a game

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Reichelt leads Austrian World Cup downhill sweep

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Players’ union head: future spring games in Cuba possible

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Harrington takes 36-hole lead, then more rain in Florida

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Defending champ Federer beats Djokovic to retain Dubai title

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Safarova beats Azarenka to win the Qatar Open

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Stolen No. 44 NASCAR race car found in suburban Atlanta

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

Harvick wins Xfinity race at Atlanta for 3rd year in a row

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

 
.

Business

For many in US, cash saved at gas pump is staying in pockets

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

 
Fruits and vegetables get a star-studded marketing push

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

Historic snows causing headaches for real estate industry

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

 
Nevada casinos keep $953.7 million in winnings in January

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

Greek prime minister rules out third bailout

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

 
Boy, 13, builds Braille printer with Legos, starts company

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9Comments are off for this post

Recalls this week: hand trucks, ceiling fans

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

 
Review: Freedom! These smartwatches leave the phone behind

By The Associated Press | From Page: B9

AP Exclusive: Fuel-hauling trains could derail at 10 a year

By The Associated Press | From Page: B12 | Gallery

 
.

Obituaries

Thomas Browning

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4, 1 Comment

 
Leah E. Hoffman

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

John W. Van Wart

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Virgil Albert Hanson

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A4

.

Comics