Saturday, March 28, 2015
FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
99 CENTS

WORST MOVIES OF 2013

By
From page B2 | December 27, 2013 |

Richard Roeper

From bad to awful to the absolute worst movie of the year, here we go!

10. “A Good Day to Die Hard.” A quarter-century after the first “Die Hard” became an instant action movie classic, we get this preposterous cartoon with John McClane trying to bond with his resentful son, who broods that dad was never around. In 2007’s “Live Free or Die Hard,” McClane was dealing with an estranged daughter who resented him for never being around.

Hey. Kids. He was saving the world more often than Iron Man while you were growing up. Give him a break.

9. “Grown-Ups 2.” How can so many funny people make such a relentlessly unfunny movie? “Grown-Ups 2″ features a deer urinating on a man; a deer urinating on a boy; grown men sneezing, burping and farting; numerous incidents of projectile vomiting, and multiple assaults on multiple male crotches.

Adam Sandler, why do you hate us?

8. “Girl Most Likely.” I love Kristen Wiig, but she’s buried in a forgettable movie with a forgettable title and forgettable characters I’d really like to forget. We really didn’t need another film about a neurotic woman who falls into a near-catatonic state because her idiot boyfriend dumps her. Making matters worse, Wiig’s character is an obnoxious little girl in flashbacks and kind of unsympathetic as a grown-up, as well.

7. “Now You See Me.” A slick, empty con job from start to finish. Now You See Me, and Now You Wish You Hadn’t.

6. “Safe Haven.” Another one of those Nicholas Sparks movies with a star-crossed, sun-dappled couple embracing on the beach while possible DEATH AND DOOM lurk around the corner. And the big twist at the end leaves us with the conclusion Julianne Hough’s character is nuts. Not adorably wacky — certifiably insane.

5. “G.I. Joe: Retaliation.” To say this is a video game of a movie is an insult to the countless video games that have better special effects, more realistic action and superior plot elements. This is one big dopey mess, with some of the worst dialogue of the year.

4. “Evil Dead.” Just when I thought torture porn was dead, we get this sadistic, creepy gore-fest that celebrates the brutal, bloody deaths of some of the dumbest people ever to appear in a horror film. Were we supposed to laugh at the cringe-inducing, irredeemable violence? Look away in horror? Leave the theater to warn our friends never to see “Evil Dead”?

I voted for option three.

3. “The Lone Ranger.” The great Johnny Depp gives maybe the first truly awful performance of his career. How did anyone, including Depp, think it was a good idea for him to play Tonto as a doddering old fool and, in flashbacks, a doddering young fool? For that matter, why did anyone believe there would be mass interest in a giant-budget movie about a character long forgotten by most of today’s moviegoers?

2. “Movie 43.” One of the most painful moviegoing experiences of my life. An amazingly talented cast stars in a series of loosely connected scenes that range from what-the-hell to kill-me-now. In the worst segment of all, Halle Berry makes guacamole by mashing avocados with her giant fake boobs, and then she inserts a turkey baster filled with extra-hot sauce into her — well. As I said when it was released, “Movie 43″ is the Citizen Kane of awful.

1. “White House Down.” At least “Movie 43″ kinda knows it’s awful. The worst movie of the year is “White House Down,” which is even more offensive because of its pandering, condescending, mercilessly cynical attitude. Director Roland Emmerich places a child character in constant jeopardy, rips off far better movies and assaults our intelligence with jingoistic manipulation and unbelievably cheesy one-liners. The ending is so shamelessly hokey I actually groaned out loud, and I haven’t done that at the movies since some hulking lug stepped on my foot while toting his R2D2-sized bucket of popcorn back to his seat.

Scripps Howard News Service

LEAVE A COMMENT

Discussion | No comments

The Daily Republic does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy

.

Solano News

Fraisure Smith hearing delayed twice Friday

By Ryan McCarthy | From Page: A1, 10 Comments | Gallery

 
Luncheon honors women for their work to help others

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Sheepdogs, handlers flock to Rio Vista for trials

By Susan Winlow | From Page: A1, 1 Comment | Gallery

 
 
Solano Rotary clubs honor top firefighters from across county

By Bill Hicks | From Page: A3 | Gallery

Eatery to host event to support child with cancer

By Glen Faison | From Page: A3

 
Project begins to brighten downtown Fairfield

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A3, 5 Comments | Gallery

 
Fairfield police log: March 26, 2016

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A9, 1 Comment

Suisun police log: March 26, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A9

 
Going home to mother

By Murray Bass | From Page: B10, 1 Comment

 
.

US / World

 
Jury says Silicon Valley firm did not discriminate

By The Associated Press | From Page: A3

 
Gov. Brown signs $1 billion water plan for dry California

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4 | Gallery

 
Public defender: San Francisco jail inmates forced to fight

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
NY mayor: Someone may have ‘inappropriately’ tapped gas line

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Feds: Baltimore jail illegally keeping juveniles in solitary

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Autopsies determine children found in freezer were slain

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

Fetus debate looms following charges in womb-cutting case

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
Pugnacious Reid retiring, wants Schumer as Senate Dem leader

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Senate OKs Republican balanced-budget plan, following House

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

 
‘Sopranos’ star’s apartment destroyed by blast

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Pilot who scared passengers sues airline

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7

‘Mad Men’ costumes, props head to Smithsonian

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
US economy showing signs of durability

By The Associated Press | From Page: B7, 1 Comment

Mexico City businesses cite losses during Bond filming

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Comedian Gardell hosts game show version of Monopoly

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

Nelson set to return to role as Coach

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
German airline could face ‘unlimited’ damages for Alps crash

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

Co-pilot appeared healthy, but may have hidden illness

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10

 
About 4,000 fishermen stranded on Indonesian islands

By The Associated Press | From Page: A10, 1 Comment

Warships move in key strait as airstrikes widen in Yemen

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11 | Gallery

 
Iran says nuke talks focused despite Yemen crisis

By The Associated Press | From Page: A11

At least 9 dead as militants attack hotel in Somali capital

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

 
Amanda Knox murder conviction overturned by Italy high court

By The Associated Press | From Page: A12

.

Living

Books as decor: Versatile but meaningful design elements

By The Associated Press | From Page: HSR1Comments are off for this post | Gallery

 
Today in History: March 28, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Community Calendar: March 28, 2015

By Susan Hiland | From Page: A2

 
Horoscopes: March 28, 2015

By Holiday Mathis | From Page: B6

My elderly mother is so stingy I’m finding excuses not to visit her

By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar | From Page: B6

 
The newest fitness trend: Mixing it up

By The Associated Press | From Page: B10

.

Entertainment

‘Stomp’ stopped by NYC blast

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Mannequin museum show hits New York

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

TVGrid

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B7

 
‘Teen Mom’ star charged in picture posting case

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

People: Zane Malik

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
Larry David Broadway role handed to Jason Alexander

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

.

Sports

Notre Dame beats Stanford women 81-60, advances to Elite Eight

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
Curry, Thompson lead Warriors in rout over Grizzlies

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Evans helps desperate Pelicans end skid vs. Kings, 102-88

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Ranuado goes 6 for Rangers’ but A’s rally for 7-6 win

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

 
A-Rod’s cousin pleads guilty in Florida steroids case

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Durant to have another surgery, miss rest of season

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Chicago rooftop owner charged with trying to defraud Cubs

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Gift returns: Sterling wife wants house, $1 million

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Shaq acknowledges regret about decision to leave Magic

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
NASCAR topic: Cheating with tire pressure, or just hot air?

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Hot Rod Hundley, former NBA player and Jazz announcer, dies

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
Area resident Jimmy Walker takes lead in Texas Open

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

Logano wins Martinsville pole; Elliott to start 27th

By The Associated Press | From Page: B2

 
This date in sports history for March 28, 2015

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
.

Business

.

Obituaries

Helen Kalis

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Robert Roberts

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

Carol A. Vose

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

 
Janice Jewel Thompson

By Nancy Green | From Page: A4

.

Comics

Get Fuzzy

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Baldo

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Baby Blues

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Dilbert

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Pickles

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
For Better or Worse

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Beetle Bailey

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Blondie

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Garfield

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
B.C.

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Frank and Ernest

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Wizard of Id

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Sally Forth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Zits

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

Rose is Rose

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B5

 
Word Sleuth

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Bridge

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Cryptoquote

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

Sudoku

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

 
Crossword

By Daily Republic Syndicated Content | From Page: B6

.

Home Seller 3/28/2015

Books as decor: Versatile but meaningful design elements

By The Associated Press | From Page: HSR1Comments are off for this post | Gallery

Real estate transactions for March 28, 2015

By Daily Republic | From Page: HSR2