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Brad Stanhope

Loser’s view after war on Christmas

Life was different before the war. But of course, anyone who has lived through war knows that – particularly when you’re on the losing side. Now all that’s left is to hide the scars and rebuild our lives as shattered, broken people. And hope to someday recover. It seemed unlikely we would lose. How could […]

Don’t panic, but the Black Death may be returning

Don’t panic. Don’t go crazy. Don’t do anything dangerous. I’m sure the health officials are keeping things quiet for a good reason. I’m sure there’s no reason to get anxious. BUT A GIRL IN OREGON HAS THE PLAGUE! Pardon me while I get a paper bag into which I can breathe to prevent hyperventilation. The […]

Sandwich Islands: Best thing since sliced bread

Aloha and hand me some lunch meat between two slices of bread! Mrs. Brad and I recently returned from the Sandwich Islands and this seems an appropriate place to share our memories. The Sandwich Islands? Well, you may call them something else – most likely the Hawaiian Islands. I’ve got nothing against the people who […]

Really: Some things are worth keeping

When I was a teenager, my dad had a container for tortilla chips. They were his favorite snack, so my stepmom would buy him massive bags of Bien Padre chips (made in my hometown) and he would eat them nearly every night. The funny thing? His container. It was an aluminum box about the size of a […]

November 08, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged , | 1 Reply

Color me excited for Hall of Fame announcement

Like most Americans, I’ll be clicking “refresh” on my Internet browser Thursday morning, awaiting the big announcement. This is no game! It’s time to find out the new inductees to The National Toy Hall of Fame in Rochester, New York. My money is on the scooter and Twister. But I hope that Wiffle ball makes it and […]

Time capsule musings of a 13-year-old me

Editor’s note: The following column was found in a time capsule that indicated the author was 13. The thoughts and predictions contained are not necessarily those of the Daily Republic or even the present-day Brad: Hey everyone, I’m putting this column in a No. 2 mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls’ back porch (like Johnny Carson […]

October 25, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Creative solutions for House speaker quandary

One of the most powerful jobs in America is open and nobody wants it. With good reason. It’s about politics, but stick with me. It’s worth it! Republicans in the U.S. House of Representatives spent the past few weeks hoping that a good candidate – anyone – would step up to succeed John Boehner as speaker of the […]

October 18, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Mars presents solution to our problem

Scientists think there might be water on Mars, making it the greatest opportunity since gold was discovered at Sutter’s Mill 160 years ago. Or when Lewis and Clark explored the West. Or when Lewis and Martin perfected the buddy genre during the 1950s. This is Manifest Destiny for the 21st century. It could be a game-changer for […]

October 11, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Getting through grief of a bad commute

The only thing slower than morning rush-hour traffic is navigating an emotional response to it. I’ve got a five-speed. Not a five-speed vehicle, a five-speed reaction. I think I’m in fifth gear now, which is acceptance. But I could be wrong. It wouldn’t be the first time. In fact, it wouldn’t be the first time I was […]

October 04, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Secrets of El Niño winter, including forecasts

Our long California drought may soon be over. In case you haven’t heard, weather experts are nearly unanimous in saying that we’re about to have an El Niño winter, which could mean the end of the drought and the arrival of flooding. Or maybe nothing will change. That’s where I come in. I follow the tradition […]

September 27, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Camping trip almost blew us away

We thought we knew about wind. After all, we’ve lived in Suisun City for decades and endured year after year of gusts. But this was different. We found ourselves late at night, trying to sleep while also hoping that our tent wouldn’t blow away. Huddled and shouting at each other. But let’s go back to the […]

September 20, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

NFL’s slide, musical guilty pleasures and more

It’s time to empty my reporter’s notebook, which is now an app on my telephone that has virtual pages onto which I type by touching “keys” on a screen. Ahh, technology. I love you and hate you at the same time. Virtually, of course. On to the topics du jour . . . First, the […]

September 13, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Dream a (boring) little dream of me

Of all the areas in which Mrs. Brad and I differ – being handy around the house (her, not me), being a good driver (her, not me), reading other people’s moods (her, not me), cooking well (her, not me) and knowing 1970s and 1980s sports facts and music lyrics (me, not her) – there is […]

September 06, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Best choice of woman on the $10 bill

So, beginning in 2020, a woman will appear on the $10 bill, according to the U.S. Treasury. Typical, isn’t it? Women get their face on money just as we become a cashless society. It’s like finding out that they’re going to put your face on an album cover right when everybody switches to mp3s. Once […]

August 30, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Let’s bring Stanhope Syndrome into open

It’s not that I want the attention. It’s only that I occasionally suffer from a malady that has been in the shadows too long and lacks a name. I suggest calling it Stanhope Syndrome. About a month ago, I had a flare-up. If you’ve had one, you know how difficult it is – both physically […]

August 23, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Let’s make presidential debates even better

The Republican presidential candidate debate earlier this month on the Fox News Channel captured the attention of Americans more than any debate since the great “Flame Broiling vs. Frying” fast-food conflict of the 1980s. The reason was obvious: Donald Trump. The former United States Football League team owner brought drama and theatrics to the television […]

August 16, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Ranking greatest (and worst) generations

By now, we’re indoctrinated: The people who fought in World War II, then returned to build the United States into the greatest nation in the world are “The Greatest Generation.” All others must bow down to them, because they’re clearly the . . . no! Wait a minute! Who gave former NBC News anchorman Tom […]

August 09, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

New planet will make you younger, heavier

In case you missed the big news, we have a new planetary relative: Earth’s “bigger, older cousin.” Mrs. Brad and I are already planning a vacation to Planet Oliver (explanation in next paragraph), where I will be heavier and younger (explanation later). But still . . . a planetary relative! It’s like finding out you […]

August 02, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Troy, me and the magical device

It was the summer before fifth grade when my best friend, Troy, and I combined our money and sent away for the greatest item ever. Troy, who lived down the street, saw it in a comic book: A portable communication device. It was perfect. Long before the cellphone era, we could talk at any time. […]

July 26, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Characters continue after spotlight fades

One-hit wonder author Harper Lee last week dropped her biggest bombshell since she revealed that “To Kill a Mockingbird” wasn’t a hunting book. In her sequel to her only novel, Lee presents “TKAM” (in the publishing industry, we love acronyms) hero Atticus Finch as a racist. Yes, the character that Gregory Peck portrayed in the iconic movie […]

July 19, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Learning about love from a TV dating show

I’ve got plenty of excuses – it doesn’t mean anything. I do it as a tradeoff for the sports that Mrs. Brad watches. Our house is small, so I can’t really ignore it. But the next paragraph is the truth. I watch “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette.” With Mrs. Brad, of course. Because, well . . .  re-read the […]

July 12, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Cars, buses, trains and me: A memoir

On a ride home on BART last week, I began to sweat. Since I’m a diabetic, my first presumption of every significant sweating episode is that I have low blood sugar – it’s a common symptom. I had tested my blood before I left my office in San Francisco. It was fine. But now I […]

July 05, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Trains, sports memories and ‘whitesploitation’

It’s the final Sunday of the first half of the last year of the first half of the second decade of the first century of the third millennium. What better time to empty the columnist’s notebook with the topics du jour? Let’s roll . . . • • • Of all the things I like […]

June 28, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Join me in making America great again

I’ve never been particularly good at standing up to peer pressure, which is why I followed all my friends off the bridge during the famous 1985 Lemming Incident. That was, of course, a couple of years after I joined everybody that one night and Wang Chunged. So when it became obvious that I was in danger of […]

June 21, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Up Cache Creek without a paddle

Maybe we should have paid more attention to the fact that the liability release we had to sign mentioned the word “death” seven times. (Rafting tip: Pay attention to the details.) It was a week ago, on a camping trip with folks from Mrs. Brad’s office, a friendly, enthusiastic bunch that was ready to have fun floating […]

June 14, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Strange days for Warriors fans

Sports fans are strange. They love success, but resent those who celebrate it with them. Take the Golden State Warriors, who play the second game Sunday in a previously unthinkable NBA Finals. After years as a Bay Area sports version of that cool band with a few hardcore fans, they’re now The Black Eyed Peas. Everybody […]

June 07, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Eyebrow cure worse than the problem

She said she wouldn’t laugh. Then she laughed so hard she couldn’t speak, which just goes to show you: Never let your wife apply eyeliner to your brows. Wait. There’s a story behind it. There’s always a story behind it. It starts several years ago when I realized that my eyebrows (or iBrows, if the […]

May 31, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Name your job? Maybe the other way around

It turns out that your name might be your destiny. Or at least there’s a correlation. According to a study done by Verdunt Labs (which is also a good description of a green Labrador retriever, assuming that you’re OK with misspelling “verdant”), there is a connection between names and professions. The group studied the Social Security […]

May 24, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Cautionary tale about using spell check

Many years ago, in a story that lives in infamy within the halls of the Daily Republic, the spell-check function on our computers was given too much power and we paid for it. And I say “our” and “we” in the most royal way possible, since I wasn’t involved. At all. Thankfully. The result was catastrophic, […]

May 17, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Lawsuits, ‘Mad Men’ finale and more

Time to empty out the columnist notebook with notes, quotes and anecdotes. It’s Mother’s Day, which is appropriate, since this is the mother of all notes columns. On to the topics du jour . . . • • • The Golden State Warriors and ticket-seller website StubHub are involved in a lawsuit that every fan […]

May 10, 2015 | Posted in Local lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,
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