FAIRFIELD-SUISUN, CALIFORNIA
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Jess Sullivan

10 ways to make life better

Do you ever feel like you aren’t getting enough out of life? By doing a few simple things, you can brighten your days and make your life a more fulfilling place to be. 1. Get outside more often. It has been said that if you want to live a long life, you should spend as […]

September 03, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Nietzsche was wrong; trauma lingers

It was Nietzsche who said, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” But in reality, something that does not kill us can leave us seriously traumatized. When you go through a life-shattering experience, a very scary or tragic event, it can leave you with serious depression or anxiety issues – or even post-traumatic stress […]

August 06, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

What to do when ‘it’ hits the fan

A major crisis can hit anyone at any time. No matter who you are and what you have, difficult circumstances or bad people in your life can bring trouble. When the two come together, living your normal life can seem impossible. When an unexpected crisis hits, it can cause a ton of anxiety and even […]

July 30, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

How to argue appropriately with your mate

As with many things, learning how to argue properly with someone you love is a skill you can develop. There is a right way and a wrong way to do it. Many couples struggle with learning to fight fairly. Here are some ground rules: • The first one to get mad loses. You really can’t resolve […]

July 23, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Lightening up the ‘dysfunctional’

We hear the word “dysfunctional” used a lot these days to describe individuals, families, or even organizations. But this kind of labeling may not always be helpful. I’d like to suggest that we put some “fun” back into dysfunctional. Accepting that there will always be flaws in the fabric of our lives makes it easier […]

July 16, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Just moving toward goals is progress

We tend to give ourselves more grief than anyone else does. Some people may believe that beating themselves up will help them achieve their goals, but I wonder if they are actually enjoying the journey or trying too hard to get to the end. The truth is that happiness comes from moving toward what you […]

July 09, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Breaking down preventable breakdowns

Relationship breakdowns happen for a multitude of reasons, and all of them are preventable. Here are some ways you can keep your love life on a positive track. Let go of grudges. When you feel resentments starting to build, talk to your partner, so you can resolve the issue. Avoid taking your partner for granted. […]

July 02, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Anxiety reduction techniques can help you

When you are feeling anxious, there are a number of things you can do to decrease the tension and get back to life as you know it. Remember that you can feel panic even if the source of your anxiety is not immediately present, because sometimes stress just floats out there for a little while, […]

June 25, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Living with a depressed person

When the one you love is dealing with depression, it can be very hard on you. You are suffering from “Depression Fallout,” which is the title of Anne Sheffield’s book and of her website (www.depressionfallout.com). There are toxic side effects, which you may not have signed up for and which can give even the most […]

June 18, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Questions you can ask to improve your relationship

One of the biggest mistakes we can make in relationships is not asking enough of the right questions. By asking these questions, you can discover what your partner needs and wants from you and your time together. Here are a few to try: “What can I help you with right now?” If you find yourself […]

June 11, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Tips to help reduce emotional tension

Tension is in our DNA. It probably started as a warning system for our cave dwelling ancestors. They had to be ready to run or defend themselves if something was endangering their tribe. We still have those instincts, and sometimes they can be a lot stronger than they need to be. The fight-or-flee system is […]

May 28, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Tips to find the secret to happiness

If you are wondering how to be happy, first take a look at what your gifts are and what your purpose is on the planet. Sharing your gifts with the world is one of the best ways to create happiness. People who do what they love and give that love to those around them by […]

May 21, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Talking with people you don’t know

When I’m asked to give a speech in a place I’ve never been, it’s always an interesting and growth-producing experience. It almost always starts with me getting on an airplane and sitting next to a complete stranger. Sometimes there is good conversation, cards are exchanged, and the flight seems shorter. Other times, there is only […]

May 14, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Dating mistakes and how to avoid them

Dating is a kind of due diligence. It gives you the opportunity to get to know a person you may have feelings for. This process is very important, because even though you may be feeling the love, the two of you may not be able to live together. Dating gives you the opportunity to ask […]

May 07, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

When someone seeks revenge

When someone lashes out at you because they are seeking revenge, it can be very scary. Resentment and anger can turn some people into evildoers, and they think they are completely in the right. They do not think about the damage they are doing to the bystanders – sometimes including their own children. When vengeful […]

April 30, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Solving and resolving life’s problems

A lot of people long for a magic bullet that would make all their problems disappear. The truth is that there isn’t one, and we have to think and work our way through our issues, both personal and professional. No quick fix or Pollyanna affirmation is going to change everything for the better. The truth […]

April 23, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

What love gives you

Most of us have had a bad relationship or two, maybe 22. It’s natural to crave companionship when you’re alone, but it’s also natural to be a little gun-shy if you’ve been in relationships that didn’t work out. If you are feeling reluctant to find love again, here are a few reasons why I believe […]

April 16, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Not easy to rebuild confidence, but crucial

Sometimes a difficult experience or event can shatter your confidence. So can discouraging words from those who you love. There are any number of things that happen in our lives that can cause us to doubt ourselves, and our abilities. The economy shook the confidence of the entire world not too long ago, but we […]

April 09, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

How to make up after a fight

After an argument, most couples have some difficulty making up and getting back to normal (whatever that is). Both parties want to feel that things are resolved, but when hurt feelings have been bouncing around your hearts, it can be problematic. Sometimes you don’t have to say much – just a soft smile or a […]

April 02, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

How to cope when hard times hit

Sometimes things happen that are beyond our control. We may think that we could have done something different to change the situation, but that’s a mind game we play with ourselves that actually does more harm than good. Maybe there was a way to prevent what happened, but second-guessing yourself or beating yourself up over […]

March 26, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Spring a time of relationship growth

The trees and flowers are budding, the animals are chirping (or honking or howling), and Mother Nature has offered each of us yet another opportunity for a fresh start. Being able to grow as individuals and as partners in our relationships is a big part of what spring is all about. It is the season […]

March 19, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

The importance of emotions

We all go through millions of emotions in our relationship, and those emotions create brain chemicals that change the way we feel. Sometimes we are in a positive frame of mind (hopefully most of the time), and other times we can be neutral or even have negative feelings about our partners and ourselves. Being able […]

March 12, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Get out in front of your mood

Everyone deals with anxiety and depression in some way at some point in their lives. Many therapists agree that depression can look like anxiety, and sometimes it’s hard to tell what is making you feel uncomfortable. Even though depression and anxiety affect people differently, there are some things you can do that will benefit you […]

March 05, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Getting distant and coming back

Your relationship may be generally feeling fine, and other things in your life may be going smoothly as well, but you may still sense that something is missing, and it’s making you take a second look at your life and love. The truth is that it is difficult to feel close to the one you […]

February 26, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Be careful with your words

In long-term relationships, people can sometimes become used to treating each inappropriately. They may use derogatory terms or talk down to one another. Others may not talk much at all because when they do talk, it becomes a fight. This happens when the relationship devolves into a power struggle. If this describes your relationship, both […]

February 19, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

10 ways to create more love in your relationship

Expressing your love shouldn’t be reserved for special occasions like Valentine’s Day. It should be a constant in your relationship– and that means doing more than just repeating the “three little words.” Here are some tips to get you started. 1. Use terms of endearment. Coming up with and calling your partner by an affectionate […]

February 12, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Toxic relationships can poison life

Being with a toxic person can be physically, as well as emotionally, depleting. I have watched people deteriorate physically after being in an unhealthy relationship for too long. Negative people can suck the life right out of you, which is why they are sometimes called “emotional vampires.” There is more than one kind of toxic […]

February 05, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Partner not responsible for your mood

Learning that you need to take personal responsibility for your own moods can be a relationship saver. It’s especially important to avoid inflicting a bad mood onto your partner. What’s known in psychotherapy as “negative projection” can make someone you love doubt themselves and their relationship with you. It takes some work to keep your […]

January 29, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

How to avoid worst time-wasters

The most valuable thing I possess is my time. I hate, with a purple passion, having it wasted. That being said, I also know that I need to get better at avoiding what robs me of my time. It’s something we can all work on. Here are a few common time thieves with some tips […]

January 22, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,

Dating and relating in 2014

January is the biggest month of the year for new health club and gym memberships. The beginning of the year is also the busiest time for dating Web sites, as many people are inspired to go online to find the love of their lives. If you want to be in a relationship but are wary […]

January 15, 2014 | Posted in State, national lifestyle columnists | Tagged ,
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